{"id":14,"date":"2021-03-04T17:51:28","date_gmt":"2021-03-04T17:51:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/courses.mcclurken.org\/427\/kingcandy\/?page_id=14"},"modified":"2021-03-15T15:54:08","modified_gmt":"2021-03-15T15:54:08","slug":"political-campaign","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/courses.mcclurken.org\/427\/kingcandy\/political-campaign\/","title":{"rendered":"Political Campaign"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"1024\" src=\"http:\/\/courses.mcclurken.org\/427\/kingcandy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Deny-Mister-Dentist-768x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-73\" srcset=\"https:\/\/courses.mcclurken.org\/427\/kingcandy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Deny-Mister-Dentist-768x1024.jpg 768w, https:\/\/courses.mcclurken.org\/427\/kingcandy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Deny-Mister-Dentist-225x300.jpg 225w, https:\/\/courses.mcclurken.org\/427\/kingcandy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Deny-Mister-Dentist.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/><figcaption>DENY HIS LIES. <br><em>This message approved by King Candy\u2019s Compassionate Collective Council<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-audio\"><audio controls src=\"http:\/\/courses.mcclurken.org\/427\/kingcandy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Candy-Land-Podcast.mp3\"><\/audio><figcaption><em>All Voices are Sweet<\/em>, Ep. 203, Monday, 3\/15\/2021<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"color:#096792;line-height:1\">To All Candy Landers: Our Lives are Endangered <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"color:#096792;line-height:1\">A Stranger Among Us<br>Three days ago, an anonymous marshmallow staffer of Candy Castle, reported to the Sweet Sheet that King Candy and Queen Frostine hosted a stranger to not just Candy Castle, but Candy Land itself. The stranger identified himself as a \u201cdentist.\u201d This so-called dentist was granted a t\u00eate-\u00e0-t\u00eate with our sterling and sublime sovereigns when he claimed to have urgent and critical information about the state of \u201chealth\u201d\u2014whatever that is\u2014of our sweet, utopian land of all that is pretty, peaceful, and pleasing \u2014a land that is truly a paragon of perfection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"color:#096792;line-height:1\">This ill-mannered dentist insolently insisted that all the noble and good citizens of Candy Land must, for the sake of their \u201chealth,\u201d stop eating not only candy but anything sugary! Adding insult to injury, the dentist also declared that we all must brush our teeth! Princess Lolly was so distraught at this point that she did something she had never done before: she cried. The Sweet Sheet is grieved to announce that upon her lamentation of the dentist\u2019s truly outlandish and impudent injunctions she melted from her tears. Castle confectioners worked around the clock to remold her. Fortunately, she is currently cooling in the castle\u2019s blast freezer and is expected to make a full recovery with an even glossier sheen than before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"color:#096792;line-height:1\">The reporting marshmallow asked to remain unidentified because they feared this new and unknown villain. With the unthinkable notions the dentist afflicted upon on our wise leaders, who can say what the depths of his depravity are, and we thank, honor, and protect our brave marshmallow. We also don\u2019t know if this dentist is working alone or not. Although the dentist was seen making his way through Licorice Lagoon after leaving Candy Castle, it is not now believed that he is in league with Lord Licorice, Candy Land\u2019s perennial villain, since Lord Licorice is saccharine himself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"color:#096792;line-height:1\">A Closer Look<br>But what of these draconian demands the dentist called for to stop eating sweets and to brush our teeth? Sugar Sheet sat down with head gingerbread girl, Jolly, to discover the implications of a cessation of sugar consumption and an imposition of tooth brushing. In short, Jolly explained, \u201cCandy Land and all its people would collapse.\u201d She went on to enumerate the horrors of such actions: Ice cream would melt, separate, sour, and eventually stink, defiling our rivers, streams, lakes, and Ice Cream Sea itself. Ice Cream Slopes would cease to exist, and then where would the Duke of Swirl and his gingerbread kids reside? If all Candy Landers abandoned sweets, we would be complicit in the demise of local artisans\u2019 shops and in turn, their lives. Mamma Ginger Tree\u2019s gingersnap shop would crumble if we neglected her glorious golden goodies. Mr. Mint\u2019s Candy Cane Forrest would be overgrown since he would have no need to harvest any candy canes in the wake of a wide-spread sugar shunning. These are only a few of the examples Jolly foresaw of how Cand Landy would reach a point of proverbial\u2014and perhaps quite literal\u2014ignition and quickly burn down if it launched the dentist\u2019s tyrannical subjugation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"color:#096792;line-height:1\">A Call to Community<br>Candy Landers assembled on Cupcake Commons last night to share stories and council on action plans. Ever anxious to maintain the best quality of life for his fellow citizens and compatriots, King Candy participated in the Cupcake Commons council, to which he refers to now as King Candy\u2019s Compassionate Collective Council, and spoke to all present, assuring that not ever in the past has an adversary or an adversity dissolved Candy Land\u2019s sweet and tacky structure of life. \u201cRemember,\u201d our fearless leader said, \u201cthe Licorice-Peanut scandal when Lord Licorice wanted to expand Licorice Lagoon onto Peanut Acres to create peanut butter and licorice lollypops. Remember the cries of the Lollypop Guild over the corruption that such a mix would bring to their community, leaving a sweet but undesirable concoction. Remember how you and I together\u2014stood together\u2014and opposed the forces of evil. We did it then, together. And together, we can do it again.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"color:#096792;line-height:1\">Our great man of courage, King Candy, also called to our minds the catastrophe of corn syrup spilled into Molasses Swamp. Who was it who took charge, instituted a corn syrup filter, and designated corn syrup dumping stations? Our careful King Candy. Who also was it who hired Grandma Gooey to oversee the right consistency of goo in our gumdrop paths? King Candy. And who was it who brought down Gloppy from Chocolate Mountain so he could make friends with all the marshmallows? King Candy. No doubt our fears are allayed and our sweet lives are safe\u2014are better\u2014when we put our trust in the honeyed hands of King Candy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"color:#096792;line-height:1\">A Plea to Save<br>But to ensure this dentist does not take the sugar\u2014our very lives\u2014out of our mouths, King Candy implored us to do our duty as his fellow Candy Landers. \u201cLive your life,\u201d he said. \u201cDeny the dentist. Deny his claims, his communication to you, his very existence\u2014it\u2019s the only way to save ourselves,\u201d King Candy continued. \u201cSweets are for the soul,\u201d he said, \u201cand this dentist wants to end our sweets, canceling our very souls. We are our sugar and sweets, and we are worthy to exist\u2014to have our sweets and not brush our teeth. It is our rights that the dentist wants to take away. But as we stand together <em>in <\/em>the right, we will <em>maintain <\/em>our rights.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"color:#096792;line-height:1\">Last night\u2019s King Candy\u2019s Compassionate Collective Council proved once again that King Candy now and in the past is for\u2014and a part of\u2014us. He is always there, in the fight for right, standing alongside us. He truly is the head of a roundtable, proving that he is ours, that we are his, and that our trust in him is right. It\u2019s up to us now, fellow Candy Landers, to preserve our lives by disburdening ourselves of the dastardly dentist. Stand in the right, together with King Candy. Deny the dentist your time; disregard his dangerous designs, and dispense with him entirely so you can save your sweet souls and live your lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"528\" src=\"http:\/\/courses.mcclurken.org\/427\/kingcandy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/king-candy-cares-UPDATED-1024x528.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-84\" srcset=\"https:\/\/courses.mcclurken.org\/427\/kingcandy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/king-candy-cares-UPDATED-1024x528.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/courses.mcclurken.org\/427\/kingcandy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/king-candy-cares-UPDATED-300x155.jpg 300w, https:\/\/courses.mcclurken.org\/427\/kingcandy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/king-candy-cares-UPDATED-768x396.jpg 768w, https:\/\/courses.mcclurken.org\/427\/kingcandy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/king-candy-cares-UPDATED-1536x792.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/courses.mcclurken.org\/427\/kingcandy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/king-candy-cares-UPDATED-1200x619.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/courses.mcclurken.org\/427\/kingcandy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/king-candy-cares-UPDATED.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><figcaption>KING CANDY CARES.<br><em>This message approved by King Candy\u2019s Compassionate Collective Council<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>To All Candy Landers: Our Lives are Endangered A Stranger Among UsThree days ago, an anonymous marshmallow staffer of Candy Castle, reported to the Sweet Sheet that King Candy and Queen Frostine hosted a stranger to not just Candy Castle, but Candy Land itself. The stranger identified himself as a \u201cdentist.\u201d This so-called dentist was [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-14","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/courses.mcclurken.org\/427\/kingcandy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/14","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/courses.mcclurken.org\/427\/kingcandy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/courses.mcclurken.org\/427\/kingcandy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/courses.mcclurken.org\/427\/kingcandy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/courses.mcclurken.org\/427\/kingcandy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/courses.mcclurken.org\/427\/kingcandy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/14\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":87,"href":"https:\/\/courses.mcclurken.org\/427\/kingcandy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/14\/revisions\/87"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/courses.mcclurken.org\/427\/kingcandy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}